so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so let's talk penis.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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