Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
