it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
