I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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