ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
