This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
be right there i have to get my cape
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
