Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
