That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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