I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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