What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
