the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Your cock deserves a montage
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
