I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
