you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
