last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Randomize
