I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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