Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
