what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
