i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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