I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
