so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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