He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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