My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
