East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the condom got lost in my hair
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Randomize
