I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
