Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
