I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
