My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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