dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's just like the Real World with babies
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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