The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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