u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
