I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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