I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
