Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
