My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Couch. On fire.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
