apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
