Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
