and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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