so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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