Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
