I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
