I'm jealous of your bromance
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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