i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
