I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
