i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
