I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize