I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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