uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
