Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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