i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
