dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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