this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
