i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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