so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
